


slow dancing

by hualianr



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Indulgent, Slow Dancing, contrary to how touchy they are with each other this is not an established realtionship fic, i write a gay little fanfiction instead of doing my college work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:49:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29889663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hualianr/pseuds/hualianr
Summary: “What are you looking at?” Yeonjun asks quietly, when the silence drags on for too long.“You,” Soobin replies, just as quiet.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 100





	slow dancing

**Author's Note:**

> i have never posted a fanfic in my life so , don't expect this to be good . i also wrote it while i was sleep deprived and stressed so . yes
> 
> ! also this is unbeta'd and probably has some mistakes dhhfjd

Soobin flinches when the front door opens, and the sound of someone shuffling through the hallway fills the empty dorm.

He panics a little, self-conscious of the state he’s in, and sinks further into the sofa, curling in on himself; trying to become smaller. His eyes close, too, because it’s easier than explaining the redness to whoever’s about to walk into the living room and find him there. If he pretends to sleep, maybe they won’t notice.

It’s silly, really.

Soobin usually handles the pressures of idol life better than this.

In the early days it was overwhelming. He’d cried back then too – from the stress; the sleepless nights; the mental weight of thousands upon thousands of people watching his every move – some of them only watching for him to mess up. 

All five of them had had bad days, back then. Trainee life never taught them how to mentally prepare for life after debut - how to mentally prepare for the 360 their lives would take.

It was rarer now – the bad days - their schedules weren’t _as_ hectic, they had the fans, and they’d simply grown used to the work culture. It was normal to them now, to feel stressed; overworked.

So, it was silly really, that Soobin arrived home from dance practice with exhaustion in his eyes and a heavy feeling in his chest.

It took a while for him to actually let it out, ignoring it in favor of carrying out the usual mundane tasks he does when he gets home – his skincare routine; downing a pint of water; putting his sweatpants on.

He made it onto the Netflix homepage before it hit him in full force, his mindless scrolling dwindling down until he’s not even doing that anymore; and all he can feel is the stress in his stomach, the guilt and the embarrassment; making him nauseous, his throat tight.

Soobin is a quiet crier.

He covered his face with his hands - despite the fact he was alone - and he wept, tears soaking the sleeves of his sweater, the occasional sniffle echoing around the high ceilings. 

The TV is still on now, forgotten about.

He hears the living room door open, footsteps following, and then there’s a presence nearby. It’s most likely Yeonjun, unless the other three boys had ditched their plan to go to the gym after dance practice.

His guess is confirmed when he hears a questioning whisper of _soob?_ from overhead.

He almost opens his eyes when he hears it, because it’s _Yeonjun._

Yeonjun, who’s always looking out for Soobin, always taking care of him, sending him warm smiles and comforting touches.

Bt it’s also _Yeonjun._

Yeonjun who he’s been in love with for an unmeasurable amount of time, who he’d give the world to if he could, who he’d rather not embarrass himself in front of right now; So he keeps his eyes closed, feigning sleep.

He expects to hear the sound of retreating footsteps, to feel Yeonjun walking away from him but nothing moves; the air is still.

Soobin waits and waits, until Yeonjun lets out a quiet sigh. He hears him move closer. and almost flinches again when he feels a finger lightly brush across his forehead, pushing his hair away from his face.

Soobin forgets to breathe, muscles tense.

“Are you okay?” Yeonjun asks quietly, his voice is so gentle, so kind. It’s home.

And of course, Yeonjun would know he’s not really sleeping.

Soobin lets out the breath he’s been holding and opens his eyes slowly, blinking at Yeonjun’s concerned face.

He can feel his face getting redder because he doesn’t want Yeonjun to see him like this. He doesn’t want Yeonjun to pity him.

Soobin doesn’t think, before he reaches his own hand out, fingers brushing across Yeonjun’s forehead, smoothing out his knitted brows. The action surprises both himself and Yeonjun, and they blink at each other for a moment before Soobin speaks up, voice cracking from the strain crying had put on it earlier, “you’ll get wrinkles.”

Yeonjun’s face relaxes into something fond and he snorts at Soobin, “that’s not an answer.”

“I’m okay,” Soobin supplies. “Just .. everything got a bit much.”

Yeonjun nods, listening, waiting for him to go on.

“I kept messing up,” Soobin feels stupid when he says it out loud. “I was a disaster.”

“Don’t say that,” and Yeonjun looks hurt for him.

Soobin looks away and hums - a noncommittal sound. He’d spent the entire day messing up their formation; messing up the moves, the counts. He sees the jokes on social media about him being lazy. The comments on his dancing. He doesn’t want them to be right.

“It’s only been three days,” Yeonjun says.

“You’ve learnt it already,” Soobin mumbles.

Yeonjun sighs quietly, and motions for Soobin to scoot over.

Soobin does as he’s told, leaving a small space for Yeonjun to squeeze into between himself and the armrest. When he sits, Yeonjun pats his lap and Soobin flops back down with his head on Yeonjun’s thigh.

Yeonjun’s hand automatically goes to Soobin’s head, fingers carding through his hair in soft gentle movements. “I wish you wouldn’t compare yourself to others so much.”

Soobin doesn’t say anything to that.

He knows he’s right. It _has_ only been three days since they were shown the new choreography. He still has two months before their comeback to get it right, but the thought doesn’t really help. The other guys have learnt most of it by now – he’s behind, he knows he’s is.

Yeonjun’s still looking down at him, hair falling over his face as he waits for a reply. Soobin opts to remain silent, instead mapping out Yeonjun’s pretty features with his eyes. His pink hair is fading into a pastel color now, matching the natural blush of his round cheeks. He’s so beautiful.

“What are you looking at?” Yeonjun asks quietly, when the silence drags on for too long.

“You,” Soobin replies, just as quiet.

Yeonjun snorts, “no shit?” He stops running his hands through Soobin’s hair, instead, his long fingers find their way to his face, just shy of his right eye. Soobin watches Yeonjun’s tongue poke out in concentration, as he picks at something on Soobin’s skin.

“Make a wish,” Yeonjun smiles, pulling away. There’s an eyelash on the end of his finger, and Soobin peers at it awkwardly from below.

“You make one,” Soobin offers.

Yeonjun doesn’t argue with him. He closes his eyes briefly and when he opens them again he’s looking at Soobin. He blows gently at his finger, and the eyelash disappears over the side of the sofa, neither of them pays it any attention.

“What’d you wish for?” Soobin asks.

“Can’t tell you, then it won’t come true,” Yeonjun smiles as his hand falls back into Soobin’s hair, and he leans into the touch. “I could help you, you know,” he says, serious once more.

“I know you could. I don’t want to waste your time,” Soobin’s eyes finally leave Yeonjun’s face at that, instead finding their way to the ceiling.

“It wouldn’t be a waste of time,” Yeonjun’s voice is firm, “you’re not a waste of time.”

Soobin hums again.

“I’m serious,” Yeonjun says. “Come here,” he straightens up, and motions for Soobin to do the same.

He’s up and off the sofa quicker than Soobin can process what’s happening, his warmth going with him, and Soobin watches in a daze as he shoves the coffee table into the corner of the room.

“Get up,” Yeonjun waves Soobin over.

Soobin blinks in confusion, but Yeonjun is smiling at him; waving him over again, so Soobin does as he’s told, standing awkwardly beside the sofa.

“Welcome to Choi Yeonjun’s dance class,” Yeonjun announces, adding a small bow for dramatic flair. Soobin’s puzzled face relaxes and he scoffs at Yeonjun, there’s a joke on his lips, but Yeonjun laughs something beautiful, and the words escape his mind.

They look ridiculous, the pair of them.

Yeonjun’s still got his day clothes on, stylish in the way he always is. His eyes are still painted a pretty shade of brown, and a thin layer of bb cream covers his face.

Soobin’s staring at him, with his swollen eyes and his hair that’s messed up from Yeonjun’s head massage. He thinks about the sweatpants and the oversized sweater and how they haven’t been washed in two weeks, and how Yeonjun doesn’t seem to care as he drags him into the middle of the room, a gentle hand wrapped around his wrist.

“Is this okay?” Yeonjun asks.

Soobin nods.

Yeonjun smiles, and lets go of his wrist.

“Let’s start from the chorus?” Yeonjun suggests, and Soobin nods in agreement.

They dance until Soobin’s bangs stick to his forehead, and his cheeks are flushed red.

Yeonjun’s a good teacher. He takes his time demonstrating the moves, counting slowly for Soobin. He’s keeping it lighthearted too – and Soobin can tell he’s trying to cheer him up. It’s sweet, and fills his stomach up with something fuzzy and warm.

Eventually, they get bored of dancing to the same song though, and they start messing around to whatever song Yeonjun decides to put on.

It’s nice, Soobin thinks.

He forgets about the tears, the heaviness in his bones, the nose that became stuffy from crying only one hour earlier. The day leaves his bones, the stress going with it, replaced with a boy he loves and a laugh that echo’s through their dorm. 

Soobin’s taking a break on the floor, back against the wall and a glass of water in his hands. He’s looking up at Yeonjun, watching him freestyle along with the song that’s playing through the Bluetooth speaker. Soobin doesn’t know the name – it’s Yeonjun’s playlist – but it sounds nice.

It’s hard not to be amazed, watching Yeonjun dance. He moves his body like it’s a part of the music, like it’s in his veins and his blood. Soobin thinks he could watch him forever, that careless grin and those beautiful eyes.

“Do you feel any better?” Yeonjun asks when the song has ended and he’s plopped himself down on the floor beside Soobin. They’re shoulder to shoulder, and when Soobin turns to look at him, he’s only a breath away.

“Yeah,” he smiles, and it’s shy for some reason. “Thanks, Jun.”

“’Course,” Yeonjun smiles back.

There’s a comfortable pause, as the next song begins to play. Yeonjun drinks from Soobin’s glass of water and lets himself catch his breath as Soobin tries not to lean into him.

“You know,” Yeonjun starts. “you don’t have to go through it alone. We’ve all been there, we all understand.”

“I know. I was just – embarrassed,” he sighs, softly. “I didn’t wanna bother anyone, either.”

“You will literally, _never_ be a bother Soobin. Not over something like this.”

Soobin nods because he doesn’t know what to say.

“Hey,” Yeonjun shoves his shoulder into Soobin’s lightly. “I meant it.”

“I know,” Soobin replies.

“Next time-“ Yeonjun starts and then corrects himself. “If there’s a next time, talk to me okay? I don’t like the thought of you crying here alone.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me?” Yeonjun raises a pinky out in front of Soobin’s face. He peers at it for a moment before he wraps his own around it.

“Promise.”

Yeonjun smiles, gentle, and Soobin is hit once again by how beautiful he is, inside and out.

He wants to tell him. Wants to tell him how much he appreciates his help, his company, his kindness – how beautiful he is too. But it’s too hard to say out loud, so Soobin tucks it away for another day – a day where he has a little more courage, a little more bravery.

Soobin doesn’t realize he’s staring until Yeonjun stands up, jolting his attention back. His playlist moves onto [something](https://open.spotify.com/track/11wR9PrHL8cW9fdQOjX15L?si=GOejUZLMSz-53UmZ9Dfj_w) more mellow – and the sound of a guitar fills the room – it’s a contrast to the upbeat selection of songs they’ve heard so far.

Yeonjun holds a hand out to Soobin, with a smile on his face, “dance with me?” 

Soobin looks at the hand, and then at Yeonjun’s face, taking in the shy smile and the raised eyebrow.

He reaches out.

Yeonjun pulls him into the center of the room again, but this time he doesn’t let go, and they stay like that - sweaty palm in sweaty palm.

Yeonjun faces him and Soobin can feel his heartbeat speeding up as he moves in closer, and then Yeonjun’s other hand is on his waist and Soobin’s mind goes blank.

“Okay?” Yeonjun mumbles softly. Soobin has to look down to meet his eyes now – the height difference is more noticeable when they’re like this, less than a foot apart. Soobin nods, too afraid to speak.

Yeonjun - pleased with the answer – smiles, and starts to sway along with the music, and it’s awkward, with Soobin rooted to the spot, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“I think,” Yeonjun pauses. “I think you’re pretty great, Soob.”

Soobin can’t speak – can’t think. All he can do is lift the hand that’s hanging awkwardly at his side, bringing it around Yeonjun’s waist, settling it on his lower back.

They make very brief eye contact, but Yeonjun looks away quickly.

He pulls his hand free from Soobin’s, and Soobin panics momentarily – worried he’s done something wrong - but he feels it again instantly, wrapping around the other side of his waist, until both of Yeonjun’s hands are linked together behind Soobin’s back, pulling him in closer.

Soobin tries to calm himself down, tries to focus on the music, the soft guitar and the gentle beat, but Yeonjun’s head is on his shoulder now, and he can feel his breath against his collarbone, humming along to the music.

Soobin mimics Yeonjun’s position – until they’re both hugging each other, swaying in time with the music. It doesn’t feel real. None of it feels real.

“Yeonjun?” Soobin whispers, just to check.

Yeonjun hums in response, and it vibrates against Soobin’s skin.

“Nothing.”

They don’t talk – or move, after that. Not even when the song ends, and something upbeat starts to play.

Soobin calms himself down eventually – tells himself _it’s just a hug_ and bathes in the comfort of Yeonjun just simply being there for him instead. He thinks he could stay like this forever, with Yeonjun wrapped up in his arms, breathing into his neck.

Soobin doesn’t know how long they stay like that, arms wrapped around each other, Yeonjun tucked under his chin.

It’s Yeonjun that eventually pulls away. Soobin tries to hide his disappointment as the distance between them grows, and Yeonjun’s hands disappear from his waist.

He’s too busy trying to mask his own feelings that he misses Yeonjun’s.

“I think that finishes up Choi Yeonjun’s dance class,” Yeonjun laughs awkwardly. His cheeks are pink, and he’s looking over Soobin’s shoulder, avoiding his eyes. 

“I was just getting into it too,” it’s meant to be playful but Soobin’s voice cracks and the comment leaves him feeling exposed, like he’s just revealed a secret to Yeonjun.

“Yeah?” Yeonjun sounds breathless, and Soobin wishes he could read the boys mind. “Maybe we should do it again, sometime?”

“Yeah,” Soobin replies. “Yeah, definitely. That would be great.” 

He doesn't know if Yeonjun means the whole thing or this moment right now, but it doesn't matter, not really.

As long as Yeonjun is there, Soobin will be there too. 

He's smiling at him again, and Soobin thinks _one day i'll tell him._

"Come on, let's put the table back."

**Author's Note:**

> i really enjoyed writing this bc its so cheesy and cliche fjfjddfhjd i hope u enjoyed reading it !! 
> 
> i hope to write more yeonbin soon so !! yay!


End file.
